Yes! Gardening is as powerful as can be. Some of our readers will look at this title and think that this is not for them. That might well be true, but we do hope that you will give us a read as this article could also be amusing!
Now that we are getting older, we are experiencing some great changes in the world. Sometimes, we find these fashionable changes amusing, for example a modern barbers shop has opened in Okehampton. I listened to a talk on the modern barbers shops and was very impressed. Alas! I suspect that Peter will not be amongst its customers. His hair is a different matter. We travel miles and miles to get that done! Alas! However, gardening has become something that it is fashionable to deny. That is absolutely fine. Each to their own.
We were brought up with gardening. Yes you can get your violins out. At the end of the war, there wasn’t much choice. Gardening saved you a shed load of grief. You could eat everything that you could grow. Further more, if you had been in any of the services, you were usually super fit, so turning over a long garden or a plot provided by the council was no problem. There wasn’t really much else that you could do at that stage, so 1953 finds both Susan and Peter pottering behind their respective dads for company. Susan and her father were a big team. They had been provided with temporary housing, which came from Canada. It was fabulous. It was bang up to date. It even had a coal hole, so we could keep warm by the fire. My father came from the Welsh valleys, so coal was a must. His brother had worked in the mine throughout the war. I have his death certificate. He had a massive funeral before I even started school! The coal hole was in the garden. It was the only place that I wasn’t allowed. Our speciality, as I toddled about holding an armful of tools, was Brussel sprouts. They were so tall that you couldn’t see me. All you could see was the movement! People used to wonder what it was! We grew everything. My mum had a front garden plot with loads of flowers in it. I wasn’t allowed in there since I had pulled them all up once just to help her out. The three of us had a pet robin, who sat on the window every morning. It watched us eating breakfast, toddling up and down with bread crumbs.
Peter was blessed with a cold as cold middle class house in a middle class area. His mother bought it when she sold her nursery for children. She had been a nurse and was never paid enough to keep the enterprise going. She told me that she had dreaded the winter in this house. They were all as freezing cold while I was all toasty by dad’s fire! Peter’s father, however, had what my father would have envied. He had an entire veg plot that was the size of a tennis court. Further, the old lady, who lived next door, had a similar sized plot, which she was never seen in, so Peter could play in there while his father was gardening. Peter’s father’s speciality was runner beans. He grew enough to feed the village and then some! Peter’s mother specialised in salting runner beans down in jars. She offered me some once and I avoided the question. I grow the runner beans. Peter will only eat them in extremis. He likes to have a fried egg on top of his pile of beans. Neither of us are very keen on sprouts!
Our parents went on growing veg. and gardening. It was Percy Thrower who was their inspiration. He was the Monty of the day. He would start his programme by hanging his coat on the greenhouse door. My father thought that was absolutely it. You couldn’t be any better than that! Of interest to me has been that when we had to move to a flat, things started to go wrong. The garden was downstairs and mum and I couldn’t go down. We were both likely to fall. My mother was heavily pregnant. We were trapped. When dad was nursing at the hospital where he worked he couldn’t take us for a walk. Eventually, my mother became very ill and she and the baby had to move to live with her parents. My father took me to live with his elderly mother in Wales. For me, I was spoilt rotten and became bilingual, loved it. Over the years, I travelled very happily between two countries. My Grandmother had a gardener. The garden was huge and as I got taller, I was able to handle the right tools. It was a huge release from academic work. My father and I would meet up. Before joining the army, he had been a painter, and he spent happy hours painting his mother’s house.
This tale has a sting in the tale. Of course, when Peter and I got married, we loved all the gardens, which we owned. Our parents had given a great gift in life. All that fresh air and all that healthy food. In our senior years, we are still able to enjoy it. What of our parents? We know now that all four had advanced PTSD. My mother never was herself again. She had enough drugs pumped into her for her to become an addict. My brother took as much care of her as he could. She died of a massive stroke. Cigarettes took my father when I was 32 and my brother was six years younger. Peter’s father had a large brain tumour, which took many years to kill him. The experience nearly broke his mother. Peter was 20 when his father died. Was it something he picked up in the war? We don’t know. I met Peter when he was recovering from his famous 21st birthday party, which his college lost control of. It ended with a tractor being driven into a fountain. He became an engineer with a Cranfield qualification. His mother never knew about his party. She was very upright We took his mother to live with us. I wouldn’t have her until she gave up smoking! She died aged 96. I loved her dearly, but her way of keeping sane was to run a routine, which nearly drove the whole household mad. She died in hospital with Peter, Josie and I present. We might as well not have been there. She went back to Dunkirk. She had been a nursing sister there. She died mouthing instructions about a wounded man.
The upshot of all this is quite simple. We and our children love gardening. Josie is the best gardener of us all. She grows veg. And fantastic flowers in the smallest plot that we have ever known. The lesson needs to be learnt. If anyone involved in the current war thinks that they will get away from it, they won’t. It will be with them when they least expect it. Gardening and fresh air and exercise will help, but what people have gone through will always be with them. A lesson that even modern man never learns until it’s too late. Our hearts go out to those involved. Meanwhile, I will continue to light a candle for my father in the SAS section of Hereford cathedral. He was a medical commando, who was amongst the first troops who went into Belsen. He made my brother and I watch every documentary on it, including the gas chambers. Peter’s mother liked to talk about Dunkirk. It helped her. Who will help the current victims of war?
You may not have a plot of your own to garden, but even a visit to a great garden will help you. Here are some that have inspired us and many others.
Recommended if you feel a bit fed with gardening but need to chill, Mortimer and Whitehouse; GONE FISHING BBC iPLAYER. Jim Fortey, Peter and I love it. It was recommended to us by Josie and Wes, who also use it to help them find holiday spots.
Words by Sue
Pictures by, or edited by Peter.
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